@SortaBad: My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them
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@SuperRandomish: I imagine the best part about driving a smart car is that when there's no parking spots you can just put it in your backpack.
@BlindChow: GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWS™: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf
@jackiembouvier: If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me.