@SortaBad: My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them
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@yungsweater: Bro do you even-- Bro I do. *eyes begin to tear up* *fist bumping until the sun rises*
@ericsshadow: When my 9 year old gets off the phone with his girlfriend, I'm going to ask him for some dating advice.
@JoParkerBear: Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.