@envydatropic: My neighbors just got new wind chimes. Guess who is going to have their wind chimes stolen tonight?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iamspacegirl: ME *traps wasp under a cup* MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME *appears & sets down 2 more cups* ME: no MAGICIAN GHOST *starts to shuffle them*
@KrangTNelson: I hate when millennials make up new words and demand that we all use them. people should only communicate like they did before we started making up all these words: using short grunts & hitting each other over the head with large knobbly clubs
@TraylorParker: Once I burned my Trailer down when I left a candle burning after a romantic date. To keep my street cred, I claimed it was a meth explosion.