@envydatropic: My neighbors just got new wind chimes. Guess who is going to have their wind chimes stolen tonight?
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@Jake_Vig: I saw a woman really screaming at her kids in public this morning, but in her defense, the kids were ugly.
@mollzbenn: There's a reaaalllly old tupperware in the back of the fridge, I tried to open it, but then something closed it from the inside.