@Jen_says_nah: My neighbour has diabetes and now she won't make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mynameisntdave: GUY: I heard a pianist keyed ur car. What are u gonna do? [flash forward to me hitting the pianist's piano with my car] ME: car his keys.
@rockymomax: [wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again
@Pickles5366: Friend's Fb post: In search of a coat hanger My comment: Are you pregnant or are you locked out of your car? I've been on Twitter too long