@Jen_says_nah: My neighbour has diabetes and now she won't make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: Did you take Mike's stapler and leave a note demanding that he meet you for drinks later? Me: WHAT!?! Noooo....wait, did he say yes?
@WICKEDTRUTH01: *Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers "You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you" *
@HomeProbably: What do you call a man who does all the cooking, cleaning and washing without complaint? Single.