@PhuktUpScott: My neighbour was rushed to hospital today after a wasp landed on his face. It didn't sting him, luckily I got it first with my shovel.
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@KenJennings: Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur
@sammyrhodes: Never understood Monopoly. It's like saying, "Hey we're stressed out about real $, so let's play a game & get stressed out about pretend $.
@purplefuzzygirl: Men love when you kiss their neck.. Just not when they're driving And you're in the backseat. And they don't know you. Apparently.