@PhuktUpScott: My neighbour was rushed to hospital today after a wasp landed on his face. It didn't sting him, luckily I got it first with my shovel.
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@rad_milk: i always get gatorade and gasoline confused. my car is real good at sports and im dead
@OddMarc: I'm definitely the most successful guy in this dollar store. Oh, wait. That guy has a tuxedo t-shirt. I'm the second most successful guy.
@XLToast: Help! Has anybody seen a little boy with a corndog? Stranger: He's over there! Oh thank God! [steals little boy's corndog and runs away]