@causticbob: My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
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@funnybeachgirl: If I ever met the Dalai Lama, I would ask him a question that has plagued me my entire life. "What color do Smurfs turn if you choke them?"
@Tommytoughstuff: [job interview] "So what would you say is your biggest weakness?" "I'm pretty bad at reading situations." *tries to kiss interviewer*
@Brianhopecomedy: Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard.
@Writepop: "Oh man, you've got stretched lobes and piercings? I've got stretched lobes and piercings, too!" "Sweet! We should hang out!" - Ear buds