@skullpuppy11: My neighbours probably think I'm getting laid, but these are just the sounds I make whenever I take my socks off.
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@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
@economybacon: "My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat.." Um, don't you mean "Lava"? "...like warm hill pee"
@Brampersandon_: [office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?