@skullpuppy11: My neighbours probably think I'm getting laid, but these are just the sounds I make whenever I take my socks off.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MummaCrazy: *Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks.
@XplodingUnicorn: I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.
@AtticusFinch79: Me: Babe, can you zip this for me? Him: That's an inflatable sumo suit. Me: I'm flying United today. Him: Don't forget your helmet.
@Aspersioncast: When a woman says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space & finish building my Death Star before we go.