@1Happytwit: My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
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@scottsimpson: Maybe it's just me, but reading books on an iPad Mini, I really miss the smell, the heft, the traditional reading experience of an iPad 2.
@cosmicbibi: Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research.
@tastefactory: [in front of fire] DATE: I'm still kinda cold *she looks at my jacket* ME: Oh! Yeah *I take off jacket & throw it in fire* That oughta do it
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.