@1Happytwit: My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Nahdude83: Joe: If you love it so much why don't you marry it? Jim: Hmm [Two weeks later] Jim: Meet my new wife! *holds up Joe's wife's potato salad*
@DaHess1: Pizza will never tell you you're fat unless you're high as shit, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.