@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'.
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@dlockw21: In my experience, people who say "I'm not trying to be difficult," don't really seem to be trying all that hard.
@KarenLyneButler: I want Rebecca Black to make a music video for every day of the week! Said by nobody. Ever.
@Maxine12339: Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.