@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'.
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@WickedRapunzel: Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls.
@JoParkerBear: It's like my Grandma always says, "I died three years ago. This is starting to get weird."