@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'.
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@Book_Krazy: How can we make people tell the truth? "Lets make them put one hand on a book & the other on their chest. That'll scare the shit out of em"
@msgwenl: The thing about eating broken cookies is there's no way to know how many you had. "You ate the whole ba-" THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW.
@FuckabillyRex: *skateboarding at 16 I don't care about girls, I'm skating. *skateboarding at 43 I should have had more sex when I was 16.