@Adam14: My new bowflex comes tomorrow...so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know.
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@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?
@TYrannosaurus: *sees girl at bar* Hey baby, wanna get outta here? "Sure!" Good, you're really killing the vibe.
@shadygeekdad: My father in law is one of those "deep sigh until someone asks what's wrong" kind of women.