@Schmoodles: My new boyfriend says the cutest things, like "Who are you?" and "Why are you hiding outside my house?" and "My wife is calling the police."
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@NeinQuarterly: A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as "Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."
@tuckerflodman: *Mom makes me take out the garbage* *Garbage and I begin to date* *I start taking things too fast* *Garbage dumps me*
@nbadag: [me as a passenger on the titanic] oh ewww are there olives in this salad? YOU be quiet lillian, i swear this trip cannot possibly get worse