@trumpetcake: My new coloring book, How To Tell The Woman You Love You've Been Living In Her Shrubs For A Year, comes out on tUESsdhay martha i love you
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@MyHairyLife: Subway calling their employees sandwich artists must really piss off people who actually paint sandwiches for a living.
@fluffysuse: If it's your imperfections that make you beautiful, I'm pretty sure I should be a supermodel.
@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.