@BoozyMusic: My new dentist asked me if I gag easily. "No, I'm a professional," probably wasn't the answer he expected.
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@redpawn3: One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade.
@BuckyIsotope: Just did my taxes. Put $420.69 on every line and 5 IRS agents just showed up at my door with a keg, 3 strippers and giant foam fingers.
@kiel_phillips: ME: I'd like to return a defective boomerang SHOPKEEPER: Ok. Where is it? ME: I have no idea
@SwartyComedy: If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings.