@BoozyMusic: My new dentist asked me if I gag easily. "No, I'm a professional," probably wasn't the answer he expected.
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@AimeeHelene1: If Scooby-Doo taught me anything, it's that if you want to kill someone, do it in a retirement community, where pets aren't allowed.
@iAmJuddy: Wait. I'm not cool cuz I'm home on a weekend night? You mean my home I own? With no landlord, neighbors or...parents? Wow, I'm such a loser.
@handsock_butts: HADES: what happens when Aphrodites hair gets frizzy? ZEUS: don't- HADES: i guess u could call her AFROdite ZEUS: this is why we banished u
@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’m a great dad, I’m just saying it’s a holiday weekend and I’m wearing cargo shorts with a Hawaiian shirt…