@Not_From_Troy: My new diet consists in killing anyone who tells me I'm fat.
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@Chumpstring: cop: you’re coming with me me: [being handcuffed] but i don’t even know you cop: get in the car me: will you take me to disneyland cop: what do you think me: maybe
@CauseWereGuys: The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
@shutupmikeginn: if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
@RichardDreyfuss: You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.