@nachosarah: my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone's having a party
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@BastardProphet: I don't have many enemies because I'm funny and sweet and they all died in mysterious fires.
@JanieBoBanie3: I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh.
@MarioInAZ: Had this weird dream last night that I was Superman, but I was only able to fly really low to the ground because I'm chubby.
@dulcetry: [Spider sits at computer and Googles probability of being eaten by human in his lifetime] Holy shit Sharon, COME SEE THIS