@nachosarah: my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone's having a party
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@patrickhogan91: Can't get a woman? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving "this doesn't work" and "I'm bleeding to death".
@LostCatDog: I demand Lisa from high school face me in a public debate about why she made out with Craig when it was MY BIRTHDAY PARTY
@JawnQSack: Marilyn Monroe died & was reincarnated into thousands of white girls who can't be handled at their worst, and aren't deserved at their best.