@nachosarah: my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone's having a party
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@topaz006: Frizzy hair? Coconut oil No shaving cream? Coconut oil Dry skin? Coconut oil Relationship problems? Coconut oil Bad credit? Coconut oil
@jergarl: Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now.
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide. Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's.
@HomeProbably: When someone's ignoring me I like to break into their house at night and steal all their shoes. We'll see how busy you are tomorrow.