@TechnicallyRon: My new erotic novel "Love in the time of autocorrect" will be out soon. Here is a sample
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@ninjadinosaur1: No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off.
@nbadag: DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes
@philEfanaddict: The first thing they teach you in AA is to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
@ericsshadow: My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here.