@Rollinintheseat: My newly married friend begins most sentences with, "My husband said." My go to response is, "My dogs haven't said much today."
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@BoomBoomBetty: Every time I find a new gray hair I text my mother to tell her I’m calling it one of the many grandchildren names she passive aggressively suggested to me over the years.
@caseytduncan: When I'm nervous, I like to picture everyone naked. Then, I picture them fully clothed, with items of my choosing. It's a very complex and fashionable coping mechanism.