@Rollinintheseat: My newly married friend begins most sentences with, "My husband said." My go to response is, "My dogs haven't said much today."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NoticablyBacon: I forgot the word boiling and just called it angry water, i have no idea how i graduated college
@Reverend_Scott: *T-Rex stubs his toe* OUCH I'M SO MAD. JUST... MAD. I'M... "Angry? Agitated? Irritated? Anno-" SHUT UP THESAURUS NO ONE ASKED YOU.
@CynicalLongkat: Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?
@George_404: "Why'd you name me Carson, dad?" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.