@DoreyZoe: My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants
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@Jenny4ashley: Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows
@KyleMcDowell86: [commercial for mops] *scene of a man licking up a pool of spilled soda off the dirty floor* "There has to be a better way" Narrator:MOPS
@EndhooS: Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time.