@DoreyZoe: My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants
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@stevevsninjas: Me: I'm super nervous about this. Bungee Jump Operator: Don't overthink it. Just do it. Me: ok *I punch him in the face and run like hell*
@LimeyTheGreat: My youngest son can now reach the light switches, so don't come over to my house, unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
@aecide: Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him.
@AlanFelyk: It’s amazing how many people can hit pine trees and drive with them still hanging on their car roofs. Like nothing happened.