@DocBrown21: My next tattoo will be "helvetica" written in Arial. When a woman corrects me on it, I will marry her
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@blaudiablogan: Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily.
@capricecrane: What they say: "Wow, you're really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
@usermcuserface: Mary and Joseph watch the 3 wise men leave M: I can't believe they went off the registry. J: I know! Even the son of god needs burp cloths.