@TequilaTears: My nickname for my mother is Hannibal Lecture.
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@electrolemon: everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)
@mrtruthandsoul: The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend
@rickolantern: [making yellowjackets] Angel: These things don't really do anything other than sting people God: We're running out of college mascots