@ElizaBayne: My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
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@1Happytwit: You should never bribe someone to get what you want. You should blackmail them, it's cheaper and much more effective.
@mlinhart: Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair.
@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect changed "you flatter me" to "you flatten me" and shit just got really weird.