@Contwixt: My niece asked me what it's like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back.
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@alispagnola: Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber.
@aneesa_p: Contrary to popular belief, when I call tech support, I don't know what the Indian dude is saying either.
@DaHess1: "We heard reports that some guy saw a snowflake one time somewhere so we better cancel 5,000 flights." - Airlines