@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@007Rex_Inc: Role playing didnt go so well last night. She was the hot sexy teacher and I the rebel student..so I ditched class. Cause schools for nerds.
@torrami: Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working.
@dshack8: Wife: We get 1 "cheat meal" on our diet. I want tacos. What do you want? Me: The waitress. …And that’s why I’m not getting laid tonight.
@kelkulus: They should remake The Ring; instead of a tape, the creepy little girl uploads her video to YouTube and wipes out pretty much everybody.