@JohnLyonTweets: My niece likes movies about talking animals so I bought her something called The Human Centipede. Sounds cute.
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@tamytoo2: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I'm cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day.
@KentWGraham: I fear that one day I’ll click on “Forgot password?” and it will say “We’re not telling you. This is going to be a learning experience.”
@robfee: Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt