@ReeseButCallMeV: My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever.
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@ButtercupHush: "No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
@Underchilde: Success is measured by how long it takes your boss to notice you’re not at your desk.
@robfee: The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse.