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@theshamingofjay: My nights
50% avoiding getting up to pee
@shamans_heal: I've seen:
•A Two Headed Turtle
But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
@theydidthemath: Ant man
@koala_hugs: a gymnast walks into a bar. she is immediately given a 0.0 and disqualified from Olympic trials. you're supposed to jump OVER the bar, idiot
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Ladies, if he says he would go to the "end of the earth" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland.
@Bluestmoon_: Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants.