@CMFC99: My noisy upstairs neighbour reminds me of that person I killed next week.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I love autumn, it's my favorite season ME: [trying to impress] Yes, I love the way the leaves just... autumn off the trees
@Sickayduh: Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK
@Playing_Dad: Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*
@VenisVal: Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!