@anagramps: "My nose is going to grow now" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time.
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@truegritrumble: WIFE: Can you send these party invites out? ME: Sure *throws them out window* WIFE: Did you- ME: If they're meant to come, they'll come.
@JediGigi: [1st date] Him: This is fun Me: It is Him: The last girl I went on a date with was the craziest person I've ever met Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
@Midgetspar: I'm glad that when you shoot, you shoot to kill ... because shooting to merely wound seems kinda mean.