@shutupmikeginn: My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
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@LADaddy: The person who came up with "happily ever after" probably didn't realize humans would live longer than 34 years.
@mattingebretson: I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it
@david8hughes: "I've an appointment with Dr Patel." "Dr Patel is off sick today so-" [slowly backs away & whispers] "U people can't even help yourselves."