@shutupmikeginn: My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
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@matt_simpson84: Relationship status: went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
@3sunzzz: I'm not one to bet, but I'd put $50 on the fact that the waffle was probably created when someone accidentally stepped on a pancake.
@andizeisler: Guys, I came of age in the 1970s, when people picked up and murdered hitchhikers, so I didn't realize that murdering hitchhikers was wrong