@ibid78: My N'Sync tattoo? I got it to remind me not to make impulsive decisions based on fleeting trends that I'd regret for the rest of my life.
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@13spencer: Ted Cruz is complaining about "liberal fascism," so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like "potato doorknob."
@slyoung5: Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that.
@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
@KentWGraham: My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father’s Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card.