@themafinch: My obituary: She died in the shower, dancing away from a spider that was really just black sock fuzz.
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@emireecraire: Public transportation not only helps the environment, it also makes you hate the human race
@hippieswordfish: ME: *falls down the stairs* help buddy im hurt bad call 911 ROBE-BOT: another robe sir?
@squirrel74wkgn: I'd love to go to the mall with you honey, but the court order says I can't come within 50 feet of any mannequins.