@DurtMcHurtt: My obsession with building townhouses is going to give me a complex one of these days.
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@fro_vo: Wife: we have to get rid of these ants Me: if u don't look at them they disappear Wife: that's ignorant Me: i know the technical term linda
@WheelTod: Somewhere a village is missing its idiot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't remember where I live.
@mrtruthandsoul: How much of this "no more tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
@internetluke: TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?