@DurtMcHurtt: My obsession with building townhouses is going to give me a complex one of these days.
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@HavocMantis: Whenever I work out, I wear a push-up bra so I can do more push-ups. If I didn't, it'd be so embarrassing and people would laugh at me.
@ibid78: [God waking up with a hangover] last night was a blur. Whose prayers did I answer? [sees Trump leading in the polls] uh oh
@Elizasoul80: Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they're the problem is the other half.