@kelkulus: My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard.
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@Matt_The_1st: Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
@CovertAgentP: Hollywood sets impossible standards we can never live up to. Not even once have I saved people from dinosaurs with my knowledge of Unix.
@Mikecanrant: I'm not racist. I hate all races equally. Especially the 100 meter dash. All short and Olympickish.