@amishschool: My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@causticbob: Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom! #HappyBirthdayBob
@Home_Halfway: Go on a romantic walk with her. Run your hands through her hair. Take her out to a nice meal. So what if she's a police horse, who cares
@thesupergrobi: Stop telling men beards alone will make women love them when everyone knows they need to play the guitar too.
@Black__Elvis: Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times.