@amishschool: My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism.
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@knot_eye: "Once we come down off this wall we'll be on the lam. That means we're fugitives, laying low, on the run..." - condescending con descending
@Adyaces: Doc: You need to lose some weight. Me: How? Dr: Don't eat anything fatty. Me: Like pies and chips? Dr: No. Don't eat anything, fatty.
@iamspacegirl: Spent a pretty long time watching the cat next door lounge in the grass before I realized he was a skateboard.
@ScorpionDong: Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over "My Heart Will Go On"...said the guy in the car next to me