@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LorieGZ: Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!
@leifromloihi: oh the aliens aren't speaking to us right now because idk they're pissed that we flaked out on that pyramid project they started or whatever
@: Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.
@fillthevacuum: *rides off into the sunset* *rides back to get SPF 50 sunblock* *rides off into the sunset*