@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PRESTONinCOLOR: Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it's not just women who won't marry you.
@dumbbeezie: When someone tells you that you can't do something, ignore them. That's how people trick you into doing things
@kimwilliamz: The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.
@Insomniac_Medic: I'm going to say sky diving is probably not for me since I just screamed when the toilet seat shifted.