@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanKCharnley: Don't make me take off my belt because then my pants would fall down and my body looks like an egg on toothpicks.
@Jazzzzzmina: Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree.
@EndhooS: [Bunch of 6 year olds knock on my door] "TRICK OR TREAT!" You kids are in for a real treat... *slips each of them a copy of my demo tape*