@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
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@Cpin42: When I was 6 my cousin stole my boomerang. The next day his parents died in a car crash. Andy, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang.
@houffy: *i get home riding a pig* Wife: Hey honey, how was the "Hog Riders" meeting? Me: *sighs* Pointless...this one was for motorcycles too.
@Bagyants: Her: How do you get girls? Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works? Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.
@envydatropic: Like my nana used to always say, "screen shots say more about the person sharing them than anything else"