@MoistPork: My only fitness goal is to be able to lift an adult male, approximately the size of my husband, into the trunk of my car without help.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@robfee: Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible.
@JesKeepSwimming: I was going to spend the next 6 years studying medicine to become a doctor. Then I realized I could just like Facebook photos to save lives.
@lindseyallen: Stand way over there and let me tell you a funny fairytale. Once upon a time I ate all of your Halloween candy this morning.
@meganamram: I don't need to watch the debates, I read a bumper sticker the other day that totally convinced me