@paigeofmylife2: My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet.
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@_Kim_Jongun: My latest missile blew up on the launch pad. But it exploded so fast Americav couldn't tell what type it was. I'm not telling. Checkmate.
@dadofbieber: Daughter 1: Dad, I'm lesbian. Daughter 2: Me too dad. Dad: Doesn't anyone like guys here? Son: I do?.
@TheRolo: And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like "Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"
@BuckyIsotope: I HATE THE NEW NEIGHBOR *wife sighs* “Is this because his grill is bigger than yours” *frantically duct taping 2 grills together* NO