@paigeofmylife2: My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet.
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@Be___Dope: Her: baby can you come up here and play with me? Me: *sprints up stairs Her: I'm kidding. Can you hand me the remote? Me: this is so us
@mc_funbags: So you've had white presidents, a black president and now an orange one. I'm crossing my fingers for the Hulk next time around.
@HeyZeus666: I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down.