@MeatloafComedy: My pants embarrassed me in front of a chick again. How many times must I tell them that it's rude to point???
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@GetCougarized: The best things in life are free. Like your neighbor's wifi, their morning paper & their liquor cabinet while they're away, for instance.
@OBiiieeee: I almost hit a deer tonight. But then he took back what he said about my mom and we hugged it out. Back to having zero haters, feels good.
@primawesome: Health food? Baby, my body is a '93 Honda hatchback with a headlight out. I'm not about to start putting premium gas in it now.