@MeatloafComedy: My pants embarrassed me in front of a chick again. How many times must I tell them that it's rude to point???
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@WICKEDTRUTH01: *Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers "You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you" *
@DougBenson: That was the most exciting race between two stationary vehicles I have ever seen. #GreaseLive
@redhotirish75: My neighbors headboard kept me up last night so I yelled," the guy last night made her scream louder." Then it got quiet..
@Soo_Scandalouss: I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand..