@caseytduncan: My parallel parking skills are unparalleled.
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@causticbob: I saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, "Is he on standby?"
@AGStr8upNinja: I don't play mario kart with my brother anymore. Because we are both in our 20's & my mom is not there to split us up when we fight.
@KimmyMonte: Hockey is a sport where people use feet knives to walk so they can score a goal with a tiny hamburger.