@FunnyIsFamily: My parenting style can best be described as "Go help your sister."
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@theoduscrane: I wonder who ate the first egg. Like who said, "I'm a eat the white ball that chicken just shit out."
@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@philgibson01: "This undercooked pasta is an absolute car crash" What do you mean? "It's all denty"
@yonewt: My wife's signature move is asking me a question then turning on the faucet when I answer.