@undeadmolly: My parents are always pestering me to have kids. "Who will carry on the ancient family curse?" they say.
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@TheCatWhisprer: I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.
@PostCultRev: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Better yet, dress for jobs that don't even exist. Werewolf psychiatrist. Clown assassin.
@ericsshadow: Instead of a DING DONG sound, I wish my doorbell would explain to the person how much I don't want to get off the couch.