My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat.

@PaperWash: if you eat your burrito over a tortilla, anything that falls out will simply start building your next burrito

1

@dksc4life: [restaurant] ME: I think I’ll have the soup HER: What soup? ME: Not much, just ordering soup

1

@pleatedjeans: [school teacher job interview] Can I ask you some questions? I don't know CAN you? haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!

42

@treydayway: The Bible would be more believable if Adam was tempted by a slice of pizza instead.

70

@ch000ch: call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call.

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