@Underchilde: My parents are in town and said they’d be at my house in ten minutes, and I’m wondering if that’s enough time to build a moat.
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@murrman5: [trying to make it work with this really good looking girl that I have nothing in common with] ok what's your 12th favourite juice?
@LoneWolfStories: Her: Let's go shopping. Me: In your dreams. Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi. Me: Why are we still here?
@NicestHippo: WIFE: He thinks he's a news anchor DOCTOR: Is this true ME: [stacking papers & talking inaudibly as the camera zooms out]
@AGStr8upNinja: My safe word is "insufficient funds".
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