@inmynewskin: MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN SO I CAN FINALLY WINK AT THE CAT AS MUCH AS I WANT
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@sweetandweak: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
@iRowlf: I'm sorry that I gave your baby a wine cooler. I forgot that I superglued a mustache on him earlier and thought he was of legal age.
@KKAlThani: If you go by "there are plenty more fish in the sea" you'll never find love cause let's start with the fact that you think you can date fish
@skickwriter: 5 & 8: Mommy, may I wear these boots? Can you find my jeans? Will you brush my hair? Will you tie my shoes? Mommy, why aren't you ready?