@inmynewskin: MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN SO I CAN FINALLY WINK AT THE CAT AS MUCH AS I WANT
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, flu shot. I look forward to three days off from work and returning looking like I was on a diet for six weeks.
@BoogTweets: Me: Your hair smells so good. Which shampoo is that? My Boss: This is inappropriate Me: Your skin is so… My Boss:*Turns off shower* OUT!
@rolldiggity: I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he's a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.