@realHamOnWry: My parents both wear hearing-aids. And I think that's why they're still married...they never turn them on.
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@MarcusTheToken: My neighbors are arguing. So I threw 6 shoes in the dryer. They haven't said a word since.
@ClamDive: Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says "Previously on wasted potential..."
@Chumpstring: I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place.