@jordan_stratton: My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
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@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient.
@DoubtTommy: how much morning wood, would my girlfriend suck, if she ever sucked and if I had a girlfriend. Whatever.
@NYC_Blonde: Tomorrow is the 4th of July which means one thing, it's going to be a really big day for nail art Instagram photos.