@wesjohnson8: My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
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@PaperWash: [in ambulance after being shot] can we [coughs blood] stop at Taco Bell? "Don't be stupid! [turns around while driving] of course we can"
@nerdreign: I earned a masters degree and a doctorate; I have $413.21 in assets. Weird Al Yankovic is worth 11 million. Kids, don't stay in school.