@CourtRundell: My parents waited way too long to tell me about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I was so mad I got in my car & drove away.
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@RxitWounds: *Power goes out* Wife: I can't see! *Shoes light up* Me: Ha! Whose shoes were "a waste of money" & "clearly meant for a large child" now?!
@MikeBigby: Actually Jesus wasn't the carpenter, Joseph was. You're thinking of the Carpenter's Monster
@sammyrhodes: I like my Facebook messages like my Fast & Furious movies: unseen.
@Sarcasticsapien: I want to create a show called "Deja Vu" simply for the "Previously on Deja Vu".
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