@CourtRundell: My parents waited way too long to tell me about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I was so mad I got in my car & drove away.
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@Token_Geezer: It’s not fair how teenagers today can avoid social interaction with family by staring at their phones I had to show my contempt by grunting
@XplodingUnicorn: When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
@michaeljhudson: I brought a t-shirt cannon to a knife fight. Everyone dropped their knives to catch their own piece of WNBA history.