@Heartblakekid15: My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink.
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@5hael: Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.
@Christweetpher_: [jail] INMATE: so what are ya in for? BIG BAD WOLF: well I huffed and I puffed and then I got nabbed for possession INMATE: goddam pigs