@pinupteacher: Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.

@TravLeBlanc: "I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains." -Zombies

@crunchenhanced: It makes me feel sick that i come from such a long line of hypochondriacs.

@TheAlexNevil: This new diet is awesome: I can eat all the donuts I want and die happy.

@jus4golf: When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years.