@TylerLinkin: My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest but I never forget.
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@InternetHippo: GOD: Peter, you will be heaven’s bouncer ST PETER: What the hell, I don’t want— ST BERNARD (whispering): Shut up or he’ll make you a dog
@KeetPotato: *swims up to girl in pool* so do you.. actually this is quite deep jesus *just disappears*
@WilliamRodgers: The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby...
@DustinSiskey: One time my 4yr old got so mad at my wife he yelled, "YOU'RE RABBIT FROM WINNIE THE POOH!" Best.Insult.Ever.