@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.
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@laureneoneal: Why doesn't anyone invite copyeditors to parties when we're such cool people out with whom to hang?
@DannyZuker: I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist.
@matt___nelson: *beats dead horse* *kills two birds with 1 stone* *lets cat out of bag* *takes bull by horns* *breaks camels back* *gets kicked out of zoo*
@jnrbtsn: The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.