@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [First day as a superhero] Oh hell yeah! *sees a crime happening* Already? Ok... *the bad guy looks really mean* Umm, I'll get the next one
@SamGrittner: I've honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
@AaronFullerton: OK, if you get to refer to your favorite football team as "we," then I definitely get to refer to the cast of Friends as "we."
@KalvinMacleod: HER: I'm ending this ME: why? HER: you’re way too literal ME: I promise I can change HER: prove it ME: *puts on a different shirt*